Is it a choice or not a choice?

Falling in love is a choice or not a choice? It’s not just a terms of choice we make about whom to trust, but also in terms of our perspective and our attitudes. It give the impression that becoming conscious of our attitudes, definitions, and perspectives, we can start distinguish what works for us, and what does not work. And then start making choices whether our logical view of life is helping us, or if it is setting us up to be victims because we are expecting life to be something, which is not. When we're in love, the experience is euphoric. We are emotionally obsessed with one another. When we arise that person is the first thought on our minds. Spending time together is like being in heaven. Falling in-love is not an act of the will or a conscious choice. Falling in-love is effortless.

People will ask, "Why do you stay?" in a relationship that is abusive or with someone who is unavailable. "Because I love him/her,” but that is not the real reason. The "love" is never the bottom line. The bottom line is always fear. Fear of being alone, fear of not being able to support self, of never having another relationship, of getting in a worse relationship, etc.

Truth is, we have choices in life, and we need to take responsibility for the consequences of those choices. If I choose to get involved with someone passionately, the responsibilities for any emotional reactions are mine and not the other persons. I may feel like the victim, but I can tell myself the truth, that is I am responsible for the feelings because I was the one who choose to give him some control over my feelings. We are at the apex of life’s happiness, and our only desire is to stay there.

Sometimes I felt that I am at the end of all hope. I know things take time and another match will come along someday and it’s not my choice when he will come. But is there another match out there for me that will be just as great as my love. I try not to compare because everyone is different. I know I can find love again but is there someone out there who will fit me the way him once perfectly fit into my life? I’m scared to falling in love with someone I should not be fall in love with. Some people said falling in love is not a choice; however staying in love is a choice. But whatever it is, the love boat will surely sink in the waves of emotion. Loyalty makes the love last. Staying committed to that person throughout the highs and lows will not only create a better relationship with all of its benefits, but a better us. Will you love me, with all your heart and soul, and to cherish me for as long as we both shall live?

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